Still Learning: Trusting is Hard

      Right now I'm going through a phase where I have no idea what to do. I have no idea what will happen next fall or even next semester. I have big decisions to make. These decisions could change what I had planned for the next 4 years. A little over a month ago I would have been most excited about going to China on a mission trip this coming summer. For the past two weeks, I've had different feelings regarding the trip. From the very beginning I asked God to point me in the right direction and that his will be done. Right now I think it was me who chose China. I wanted to go BUT what did God want? What does He want?
      Over the past few months I've been dealing with different obstacles and have learned to trust God. I don't think trusting God is something a person can ever master. I think there will always be more room for improvement. Trusting God, in my opinion, is a continual process. It is something that I can always use more work at. We could all use a little more work in that area I'm sure.
      What is holding you back? I know I'm a very selfish person. I'll admit it. What I want has often been put before what God wants for my life. I can't express how guilty I feel about that, but I know that God forgives.

Don't dwell on feeling guilty because that won't get you anywhere. Instead, push on to improve in whatever area needs improving.

Trust in Him for EVERYTHING

It's been a while since my last post. Over the past couple weeks I've been really busy with everything going on in college. I've tried to manage everything myself. This week I looked at my calendar for October and wondered how I could ever get through it. The question really was "How can I do this...by myself?" No, I didn't realize that I was thinking that, but I really was. The truth is, there is no way I could ever accomplish anything this month without God. I've never been so freaked out about anything in my life. SO MANY MIDTERMS AND DEADLINES. Through my devotions the past couple days, God has just showed me that I CAN'T do ANYTHING. At least not on my own. Why do I even try? I'm independent which sometimes kicks me around when it comes to my relationship with God.

I've realized this week that I can't count on myself to amount up to anything or try to accomplish anything without God. I have to be reminded this a lot it seems. This realization process started Tuesday night at the College worship service. During the response time, there were cards at the front that said "God, I trust you..." Through this new chapter of my life, there have been many changes. I HAVE to trust God with everything. He has a plan. "For I know the plans I have for you,"says the LORD. "They are plans for good and not disaster, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11 If I trust in God, he will provide. He will bring me through the difficult times. HE WILL.

What in your life are you afraid to give to God because you want to handle it yourself or you don't want anyone to know? God knows already. He's just waiting for you to seek him and trust him. "Give your burdens to the LORD, and he will take care of you. He will not permit the godly to slip and fall." Psalm 55:22 He WILL take care of you.